ChatGPT has the answers. Great leaders have the questions
ChatGPT has the answers. Great leaders have the questions
Any time someone in the U.S. meets someone from the UK, one question reliably follows:
鈥淲here should I eat when I visit London?鈥
It鈥檚 meant to be friendly. Helpful. But it rarely lands. Are they into sticky bangers and mash or upscale fusion small plates? Traveling with toddlers? In-laws? Gluten-free?
(And yes鈥攆or the record鈥擝ritish food isn鈥檛 that bad anymore. They鈥檝e mostly moved on from grey meat and boiled peas.)
Still, it says something about the culture. In the U.S., advice is more than a suggestion鈥攊t鈥檚 practically a greeting.
And now, so does everyone else.
The internet will flood you with advice.
AI will make it sound convincing.
But none of it will tell you what you actually need.
We鈥檙e not short on answers. What we鈥檙e short on is space to think.
In leadership especially, that space is everything. Because leadership isn鈥檛 about having the best advice. explains how leaders need to know when to ask a question with these four magic words:
What do you think?
The urge to help鈥攁nd why it backfires
When training leaders to become coaches, the number one challenge is:
Letting go of the need to give advice.
It鈥檚 not just mental鈥攊t鈥檚 physical.
Some literally cover their mouths to stop the words from spilling out.
Rarely do more than 20% of leaders in training find this advice useful. Why?
Because advice usually skips over the human and aims straight for the problem.
- You鈥檙e not them.
- You don鈥檛 know what they鈥檝e tried.
- You haven鈥檛 gotten curious about how they think or what they care about.
Advice feels efficient.
But it often leaves people feeling misunderstood鈥攁nd no closer to their own clarity.
And what they appreciate most? Space to think out loud.
Jane鈥檚 big moment鈥攁nd everyone else鈥檚 advice
Now imagine Jane. She鈥檚 got a huge presentation coming up and finally admits to her manager that she鈥檚 feeling anxious.
鈥淕o for a run beforehand,鈥 the manager says. 鈥淚t always calms me down.鈥
鈥淧icture the audience naked!鈥 someone else adds.
鈥淒eep breathing. Trust me鈥攊t鈥檚 magic.鈥
All of it is well-meaning, but none of it helps.
Jane nods politely but walks away feeling smaller.
And deep down, you probably know what that nod means.
It鈥檚 鈥淭hanks,鈥 followed by, 鈥淭his isn鈥檛 actually helping.鈥
, advice can backfire.
It threatens status. It makes people feel judged, not supported.
What you meant as encouragement can land like condescension.
What do you think?
Leadership is about helping the lightbulb go off in someone else鈥檚 head. That鈥檚 what development is about鈥攂uilding others鈥 capacity to solve problems, without relying on you. When a person makes a connection for themselves. When insight comes from within, the brain literally fires differently.
New pathways. Neural energy. This is the circuitry of confidence.
As puts it:
鈥淲hat fires together, wires together.鈥 And nothing fires like your own insight.
This is how we learn. And more importantly, it鈥檚 how we grow.
, professor at Brown University鈥檚 School of Professional Studies, puts it beautifully in just four words:
鈥淲hat do you think?鈥
Not 鈥淲hat should you do?鈥
Not 鈥淗ave you tried鈥?鈥
Just that one, respectful, catalytic question.
It鈥檚 an invitation. A signal of trust. A belief in the other person鈥檚 capability to figure things out鈥攚ith a bit of space, support, and the dignity of ownership.
鈥 writes:
鈥淭he work of leadership is to put the responsibility for solving the problem back in the hands of the people with the problem.鈥
That鈥檚 not avoidance. That鈥檚 development.
You can鈥檛 grow someone else鈥檚 muscles for them.
You can hand them a weight.
Spot them. Encourage them.
But they have to lift.
And in leadership, 鈥淲hat do you think?鈥 might be the single most powerful weight in your hands.
Leadership in a complex world
This question matters more now than ever.
We鈥檙e living in a fast-moving, high-complexity world. The people closest to the challenge鈥攜our team鈥攐ften have more context than you do. They know the customer. They see the details. They鈥檙e in the work.
If every decision runs through you, the system slows. They become dependent. You become overwhelmed.
And often, you lose the customer.
But when you create space for others to think for themselves?
You build capability.
You unlock potential.
You free yourself up to鈥.lead.
The next time you鈥檙e about to give advice, pause, and instead, try four simple words: 鈥淲hat do you think?鈥
Ask first.
Listen fully.
Offer ideas lightly鈥攊f at all.
Because in a world where ChatGPT has the answers, great leaders have the questions.
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