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ChatGPT has the answers. Great leaders have the questions

Any time someone in the U.S. meets someone from the UK, one question reliably follows:

“Where should I eat when I visit London?”

It’s meant to be friendly. Helpful. But it rarely lands. Are they into sticky bangers and mash or upscale fusion small plates? Traveling with toddlers? In-laws? Gluten-free?

(And yes—for the record—British food isn’t that bad anymore. They’ve mostly moved on from grey meat and boiled peas.)

Still, it says something about the culture. In the U.S., advice is more than a suggestion—it’s practically a greeting.

And now, so does everyone else.

The internet will flood you with advice.
AI will make it sound convincing.
But none of it will tell you what you actually need.

We’re not short on answers. What we’re short on is space to think.

In leadership especially, that space is everything. Because leadership isn’t about having the best advice. explains how leaders need to know when to ask a question with these four magic words:

What do you think?

The urge to help—and why it backfires

When training leaders to become coaches, the number one challenge is:

Letting go of the need to give advice.

It’s not just mental—it’s physical.
Some literally cover their mouths to stop the words from spilling out.

Rarely do more than 20% of leaders in training find this advice useful. Why?

Because advice usually skips over the human and aims straight for the problem.

• You’re not them.
• You don’t know what they’ve tried.
• You haven’t gotten curious about how they think or what they care about.

Advice feels efficient.

But it often leaves people feeling misunderstood—and no closer to their own clarity.

And what they appreciate most? Space to think out loud.

Jane’s big moment—and everyone else’s advice

Now imagine Jane. She’s got a huge presentation coming up and finally admits to her manager that she’s feeling anxious.

“Go for a run beforehand,” the manager says. “It always calms me down.”
“Picture the audience naked!” someone else adds.
“Deep breathing. Trust me—it’s magic.”

All of it is well-meaning, but none of it helps.
Jane nods politely but walks away feeling smaller.

And deep down, you probably know what that nod means.
It’s “Thanks,” followed by, “This isn’t actually helping.”

, advice can backfire.

It threatens status. It makes people feel judged, not supported.
What you meant as encouragement can land like condescension.

What do you think?

Leadership is about helping the lightbulb go off in someone else’s head. That’s what development is about—building others’ capacity to solve problems, without relying on you. When a person makes a connection for themselves. When insight comes from within, the brain literally fires differently.

New pathways. Neural energy. This is the circuitry of confidence.

As puts it:

“What fires together, wires together.” And nothing fires like your own insight.

This is how we learn. And more importantly, it’s how we grow.

, professor at Brown University’s School of Professional Studies, puts it beautifully in just four words:

“What do you think?”

Not “What should you do?”
Not “Have you tried…?”
Just that one, respectful, catalytic question.

It’s an invitation. A signal of trust. A belief in the other person’s capability to figure things out—with a bit of space, support, and the dignity of ownership.

” writes:

“The work of leadership is to put the responsibility for solving the problem back in the hands of the people with the problem.”

That’s not avoidance. That’s development.

You can’t grow someone else’s muscles for them.
You can hand them a weight.
Spot them. Encourage them.
But they have to lift.

And in leadership, “What do you think?” might be the single most powerful weight in your hands.

Leadership in a complex world

This question matters more now than ever.

We’re living in a fast-moving, high-complexity world. The people closest to the challenge—your team—often have more context than you do. They know the customer. They see the details. They’re in the work.

If every decision runs through you, the system slows. They become dependent. You become overwhelmed.

And often, you lose the customer.

But when you create space for others to think for themselves?

You build capability.
You unlock potential.
You free yourself up to….lead.

The next time you’re about to give advice, pause, and instead, try four simple words: “What do you think?”

Ask first.
Listen fully.
Offer ideas lightly—if at all.

Because in a world where ChatGPT has the answers, great leaders have the questions.

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