A beautiful Christmas dinner table setting with red and white motifs.

Staying sober during the holidays: 8 expert tips for people in recovery and non-drinkers

December 4, 2025
Pixel-Shot // Shutterstock

Staying sober during the holidays: 8 expert tips for people in recovery and non-drinkers

Holiday gatherings often center around celebration, connection and alcohol. In many cultures, drinking is woven into festive traditions. From champagne toasts to eggnog and cocktails, alcohol is often part of celebrations and shared moments of joy. Yet for many, these events can be emotionally complex.

For those in the constant exposure to alcohol and the social pressure to drink may be deeply triggering. For people who simply choose not to drink, gatherings can bring a different kind of , like having to explain or defend a personal decision that others may not understand. Both experiences share a common challenge: navigating a holiday season where drinking is the norm.

4 practical strategies for managing pressure from a therapist

Holiday parties and family gatherings can be emotionally charged for people in recovery. Alcohol is everywhere, and others may not understand the importance of sobriety or how to be supportive. Planning ahead and setting boundaries may help some individuals feel more prepared and supported. shares four therapist-approved strategies to help practically manage the pressure to drink.

  1. Bring your own beverage. If you鈥檙e attending a house party or a smaller gathering with friends or family, consider bringing your own non-alcoholic drink, like a sparkling water, soda or a festive mocktail mix you enjoy. Having a beverage in hand helps reduce unwanted offers and keeps you from feeling singled out. It also allows you to participate in the social rituals of toasting or sipping.
  2. Attend with a supportive friend. Attending with someone who understands your recovery journey may provide emotional support and help reduce stress in social settings.
  3. Set boundaries and prepare responses. Simple phrases such as 鈥淚鈥檓 not drinking tonight鈥 or 鈥淚鈥檓 driving later鈥 can shut down further pressure while keeping the tone light.
  4. Have an exit strategy. Plan transportation in advance so you can leave if you start feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed.

Additional support tips

  • Connect with . Reach out to sponsors, peers or your before and after gatherings for advice or encouragement. If you are traveling and prefer an in-person setting, look for local meetings or connect with an online group from home or elsewhere.
  • Focus on connection. Remember that the holidays are meant to celebrate relationships and meaningful moments, not alcohol.

How to tell people you do not drink

Not everyone who avoids alcohol is in recovery. Some people abstain for personal, cultural or health reasons, yet still face uncomfortable pressure to explain themselves. When someone says 鈥渘o thanks,鈥 they might be met with surprise, teasing or curiosity.

In a culture where drinking has long been part of social etiquette, non-drinkers are often asked to justify their choice. No answer ever seems to satisfy, because alcohol is so strongly associated with fun, connection and relaxation. This constant questioning can make people feel defensive or isolated, even when their decision is entirely valid.

In theory, you never have to explain why you鈥檙e not drinking. It鈥檚 a personal decision, and no one is entitled to an explanation. However, social pressure can build in subtle ways, and sometimes it feels easier to give a brief, polite response rather than risk unwanted awkwardness. If you find yourself in that position, these practical tips may help you handle holiday gatherings with confidence and ease.

4 ways to respond to awkward or intrusive questions

  1. Use neutral phrases. Try saying, 鈥淚 just feel better when I don鈥檛 drink,鈥 or 鈥淚鈥檓 taking a break this year.鈥 You don鈥檛 owe anyone details about your recovery.
  2. Change the subject. Redirect the conversation to a lighter topic like holiday plans, movies or new recipes to help steer attention away from drinking.
  3. Assert boundaries confidently. If someone presses, respond with, 鈥淚t鈥檚 just a personal choice,鈥 or 鈥淚鈥檇 rather not talk about it.鈥 Using a calm, steady tone can help others respect your decision.
  4. Use humor or polite deflection. A playful remark like, 鈥淚鈥檓 just here for the pie!鈥 can ease tension and end the conversation gracefully.

How hosts can support sobriety at holiday gatherings

If you鈥檙e hosting a holiday party, a few thoughtful steps can help guests in recovery feel comfortable and supported:

  • Offer appealing non-alcoholic options: Provide festive mocktails, sparkling water or seasonal drinks so everyone has something enjoyable to sip.
  • Avoid pressuring guests to drink: Respect a simple 鈥渘o thanks鈥 without asking for explanations or making jokes.
  • Create alcohol-free zones: Designate a space where guests can relax without being surrounded by alcohol.
  • Plan inclusive activities: Focus on games, music or conversation starters that don鈥檛 revolve around drinking.
  • Check in discreetly: If you know someone is in recovery, a quiet message before or during the event can reassure them that their needs are respected.

These small gestures can make a big difference in helping guests feel safe, included and able to enjoy the celebration without stress.

Why choosing sobriety during the holidays is empowering

Staying sober or choosing not to drink during the holidays gives you the freedom to be present, to connect meaningfully and to remember the season for what truly matters. Each time someone sets a boundary or declines a drink with confidence, they may strengthen their personal commitment and encourage others who are navigating similar choices.

The holidays are about joy, connection and gratitude, and those things can shine even brighter without alcohol.

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