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Falling for love, or a lie? Scary signs your online romance may be a scam

Let’s briefly consider a hypothetical scenario.

Say you’ve been single for a long time and are becoming jaded about the state of current dating apps. Once-promising leads keep ghosting you, and the rest of your matches give off the ick within the first few messages. There’s a good chance this scenario isn’t hypothetical if you’re a .

One day, someone matches with you. The two of you instantly hit it off. This new person seems really into you and isn’t shy about letting you know it. Before long, a series of setbacks befalls your new crush. They lost their job, their car broke down, and a loved one landed in the hospital.

Despite never having video chatted—much less having met in person—they plead with you to send a small payment of $100 to float them until they find a new job. You become suspicious, but you also don’t want your online crush to be the one who got away. What’s your next move?

The smartest thing you can do is request a video chat with this person before sending them so much as a nickel. If they refuse, you’re most likely dealing with a romance scammer. looks at romance scams today and highlights what people can do to protect themselves.

Modern Romance Scams: Something’s Fishy

Despite the increased savviness of many internet users, romance scammers only seem to be getting more common. In 2023, the FBI reported romance scam-related losses of among internet users older than 60, which was a nearly five-fold increase from 2018.

One of the most well-known strategies for romance scammers is catfishing. Catfishing typically involves creating a false online persona on social media and dating sites. These fraudsters often use photos of other people in their deception. Not every catfisher seeks money from their victims; some simply crave attention or praise.

Common Behaviors of Romance Scam Artists

While the end goal of many fraudsters is to simply get money from their victims, they use a variety of tactics to achieve their goal. You might be communicating with a romance scammer if they:

• Refuse to chat on a video-based platform.
• Only include one or two pictures on their social media or dating profiles.
• with messages proclaiming their love for you after having chatted for a short period of time.
• Claim to be living or working in another country.
• Immediately suggest moving the conversation from a dating app to another forum (usually an unregulated one).
• Constantly mention financial troubles or suggest they would benefit from a financial windfall.
• Bombard you with questions about your personal life without offering up any details about their own.
• Ask for your banking information.

The Good News: You Can Protect Yourself Against Romance Scams

You’re far from powerless against catfishers, romance scammers, and con artists. A few things you can do to protect yourself in these situations include:

• Being cautious about the type of personal information you give out to people you have just met.
• Not sending money to unknown bank accounts.
• Not divulging your banking or financial information to online personas.
• Asking for further proof of someone’s existence if you are skeptical of their identity.

Tools to Help You Spot a Scammer

There are many steps you can take to avoid scammers in the first place, but if you do happen to encounter one, you can still take action to protect yourself. Here are a few types of tools you can use to do some digging on whether the person you think you’re talking to is who they say they are.

Social Media

If a person is who they claim to be, it’s likely there’s evidence to corroborate their statements on social media. Of course, this isn’t always true—not everyone uses social media, and not all information on social media is accurate.

Likewise, social platforms intentionally keep personal information—like full names, phone numbers, emails, etc.—private to protect their users, meaning you may not get a full picture of someone’s true identity just by looking at their profile.

Reverse Phone Search Tools

Especially if you meet someone online, it’s easy to take what a potential scammer claims at face value. However, even basic details like phone numbers can easily reveal discrepancies between what a person says and what is actually true.

Use a lookup tool to verify your online crush’s identity. If the name or details associated with the phone number you have don’t match up with what you’ve been told, it’s possible that the person you’re talking to is misleading you about their identity.

Reverse Name Search Tools
Like a reverse phone search, you can perform a using your crush’s name to see if what they’ve told you matches what else is out there. If their identity is false, you might find that the name you’ve been given is associated with someone else entirely.

FTC Resources

If you think you’ve been the target of a romance scam, report it to the (FTC). In addition to an online scam reporting tool, the FTC also has numerous free resources on the latest trends in fraud and how to protect yourself against scams in all areas of life.

Don’t Give Up on Love

Between the scammers, catfishers, and boorish behavior, it’s easy to get burned out on dating apps. True love is possible through the internet, though, and modern couples are that the right online dating platform can connect you with a loving life partner.

As long as you stay vigilant for romance scammers and perform your due diligence with new online flames, success is right around the corner.

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